Rayo Rayo Rayo: Pictures

Well, enough babbling about what happened in Raya; pictures have been uploaded into my web albums. You can either check it out picasaweb.google.com/tengkuakram, or click at the left corner of my blog, or if you are ever so lazy, here are some snapshots:

Yours truly...:)

Rayo Rayo Rayo: Post No. 2

Hari Ahad nih, huje plok tu..pahtu tgh takdok kijo nok wak, kawe ingat kawe sambung balik cito rayo..doktau jugok nok cito lagu mano nih, kawe tra oyak ikuk de jah la deh..ikuk hok mano ingat..

Time time rayo ni hok sedaknyo bilo woghih waghoh balik blako, pahtu bleh jupo temu muko blako. Yo la, hari lain meme payoh la nok jupo. Soh ko sepupu, anok sedaro gapo, adik beradik sdiri pun payoh nok jupo. Mujur la tahun ni ado belako, adik beradik balik belako. Suko benar kawe bilo rama2 kupo kat umoh, pah wak mace2. Ado 1 hari tuh, sepupu kawe sore tuh, dok tau la mipi gapo dio, napok ube atah palo kawe byk sero gata tange nok cabuk, haha...lok wi ko dio cabuk la, syok jugok ado ore rajin nok tulong cabuk...Time2 ni jugok la dengar gossip2 sensasi hahaha...kes tahun lepah x wi duit rayo, tahun ni dok wi etek la, ado kisoh mid-age life crisis la, pahtu ado kes sakit pakak x oyak ko sapo pun..kes serius tu padahal...haihh mace2...

Pahtu gak adat la bilo time2 rayo ni, banyok oghe wak open house, banyok jenih makene la buleh jupo. Umoh kawe time rayo wak nasik dage, roti jalo, sate...kuih rayo ado puluh2 kagho, pahtu ado nge kek la puding la..pahtu gi umoh ore lain ado nge nasik huje panah, makaroni, gulai kambing, kuzi...haihh byk sgt...meme la ore oyak, time poso gak turun 2,3 kilo..rayo x sapa seminggu naik balik doh eh...tapi nok wak guano, x make ke ore oyak dok sudi jamoh, nok toksey jamoh jugok skik. De dekak 10 butir umoh go open house, kenye kakloh jugok la weh..pahtu hari rayo ke-4 pakak pakak wak bbq, bokte semo balik blako..gi la beli aye, ude, serbo serbi la..suko tapi bilo wak bendo2 gini skali skalo

Kito kelik Klate skali skalo ke, kade2 naik bengong tengok Kelate. Ho la, tiap2 tahun ado jah bendo beruboh. Tahun ni kelik, jale byk beruboh, jale hok dulu 2 lane loni jadi 1 lane doh..pahtu loni ado keda baru, Giant and Parkson bukok doh (tapi tokde nok gi melawat). Tapi gak, koho byk keda baru, koho rama ore di bandar. Oloh la, time rayo sumak supo gapo nah bandar..jadi supo KL la pulok. Nok bukti lagi kukuh? Kawe gi Tesco nok gi bli bare2 nok wak BBQ ke, aye abih licin! air oren hok botol2 tu abih kosong di shelf dio nuh...gilo kato pok2 kelate ni shopping..sebesar2 Tesco tu buleh abih bare...

Hok sedak skali (untok budok2 la kot, tapi ore tuo pun buleh tehe jugok suko) time2 rayo ni gak, main bungo api la, huhu. Kelate ni stakak ni, x penoh x napok bungo api, tiap2 tahun ado jah oore duk pase, duk main..oyak la larange gajoh rima pun, ado jah ore jual, ado jah hok jo beli..budok2 main hok kecik2 jah la, tapi hok budok2 besar jange ingat demo ni dok main..Male rayo ke-4, sepupu kawe telepon abe kawe ajok gi umoh nok nyucuh mercun. Haihh, ale2 mercun ni bilo sapa umoh, mercun hok stok2 beratuh dah ni, 300-400 dah nah...Rego ado kak RM300 lebih sekotok, pahtu ado 5...gilo la, abih 1500 bli mercun sajo, dahsyat2.. tapi meme happening la mercun dio, mace tahun baru/merdeka punyo show la..video ado aloh abe kawe, nati kalu kawe buleh kawe upload mano2..meme biso

Tuh jah kot hok kawe ingat...ado lagi raso2 hok kawe dok cito lagi..pahtu gambar pun nati kawe upload di Picasa kawe..bereh blako...

Rayo Rayo Rayo: Post No. 1

I just got back from my 1 week Hari Raya holiday in Kelantan last night. Wow, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post. I'm trying to do something different in my next couple of posts; blogging in kelantanse. If you don't understand, well..tough luck...

Aduhh, nok jadi ko cito nyo. hari ngelah sebelum kito cuti tuh (hari Khamis), siap2 gi kijo, kiro semangat la nok perabih kijo gapo semo. Ho la, mood nok rayo doh weh..sapa2 jah di opih nuh, x pasal2 ado emergency sabit ko compressor trip...aduhhh, punoh mood rayo..haihh, kelik lewat jugok la ari tuh. patut sapa KL time bukok poso gitu, bukok poso di opih la. Mujurla sek2 ni oda nasik briyani power. Buleh tehe jugok la power dio tuh, kambing plok tuh. Kawe kelik sapa di KL dkat pukul 11 doh kot. Mujur la bare2 packing abih doh, kiro bangun pagi esok nati dok gaduh doh, ke ningga tu la ni la...

Hari Jumaat, dale pukul 10 gitu baru tolok tubik umoh. Tahun ni spesel skik, sebabnyo bawok kelik keto baru, hahaha..sedakla wak ngisi bare, mugo boot keto ni besar kak'loh. Kalu ikuk gak KL nok gi Kelate ni amik maso abih2 derah pun 7 je la, mugo bukenyo ado highway gapo, jale kapong jah. Tapi kiro nasib baik jugok la, maso kelik tuh jale dok brapo jem. Keto tu banyok jugok, tapi kiro gerok la jugok, takdokla duk ngesot2 supo siput. Tapi hok kelik2 kapong ni pun biso2 jugok bawok keto; pakak gi derah blako, main potong jah dok kiro selekoh ko gapo ko. Sapa ko bah Mutiara hok 2 tikak tu pun potong buke main lagi. Hambak trip kot, nok amik ore blako. Tapi alhamdulillah, kawe bawok berhemah (takdok la sapa mace siput, derah jugok kawe bawok), ok blako. Sapa di KB dale pukul 7:40 gitu, kiro bukok poso dale keto la dulu (breti meta di Kuala Krai nuh, isi2 minyok keto, bli air)

Sapa di KB dale pukul 7:40, pah x sapa suku je, Abe Yie sapa etek. Dio duk oyak nyo nok tolok balik lepah kijo, ingat ko pukul 5 tolok teruh la. Aik duk mikir, derah stagho mano nah dio bawok keto (dio meme bwk derah pun, namo lg pilot). Pah dio oyak tolok balik pukul 3, haaaa logik la gitu gak. Pah pakak duduk di mejo bukok poso. Male tu dok wak gapo sangat, mugo letih tu gak blako. Lepah usung beg2 blake but keto, lepok2, bual2, pahtu gak tido la. Esok hari ngelah poso doh, keno bangun sahur.

Pagi Sabtu tuh, bangun la nok gi basuh keto. Yo la, cemar supo gapo keto. Gi2 kat tepak basuh nuh, tu dioo...dekak 20 butir keto duk nunggu nok basuh etek. Time sapa tuh, dio baru basuh keto no 4, keto kito nge abe kito no 21 & 22. Haihh, selok jugok nk nunggu nih, tapi tunggu jugok la. Meme sek2 hok kelik smale jugok nih tgk ko keto tuh. Keto plate 'W', pahtu cemar dio sepeseng blako, supo keto kawe. Dekak 3 je jugok nunggu nyo, pukul 11 lebih baru siap keto. Wak pitih sungguh toke2 tepak basuh keto nih, kalu 100 butir basuh 1 hari, sebutir keto RM10, haihh dekak 1000 jugok buleh 1 hari...Pah pete tuh papa ajok gi Tendong, umoh Tokku (ayoh ko papa). Tokku segar lagi napok, tapi kato telingo dok brapo dengar doh la (tapi rayo ke-4 gi plok, dengar molek plok, tunggu next post).

Male tuh, tunggu la announcement rato di TV. Saspen tuh gak, tapi tgk2 meme esok Rayo. Alhamdulillah, sebule poso, rayo doh..meta jah maso ni jale...

Ok, kawe stop dulu..Nati kawe sambung lagi cito rayo kawe...

Sex Appeal Has Science Written All Over It...

I happened to watch this documentary on Discovery, about 'The Science Of Sex Appeal' which I think is really an educational one. I actually learnt some new stuff about the opposite sex, huhu. So, lessons in brief:

1) Male which are considered a 9 or a 10, but less successful are less attractive compared to an average joe who is successful. (So guys, good looks don't sell as much as deep pockets!)

2) Ovulating women are more flirtatious and send more 'signals' to the opposite sex (and showing more skin too, huhu). Something to do with their raging hormones I supposed.

3) Women who experience adrenaline rush are more...how to say this...giving. Basically when we engage in thrill sports like bungee or just been on a rollercoaster, huge amounts of dopamine (pleasure hormone) gives us the high, and so we find everything more attractive than supposed to (which according to a friend of mine explains why mat rempits got all the chicks!)

4) Women can change their perception of a man based on the car he drives. Basically different cars show different perceptions of power and security (which confirms statement 1). So ladies, there is a reason why guys are more into his toys and rides!

5) Women (and men!) walk differently when they're trying to show off their sexiness and all. Yes, we all have our own sexy struts; you women with your swinging hips, and us guys with our manly shoulder swaggering motion. Kira jalan maintain la...

6) Math plays a vital role in determining a beautiful face. Symmetry is everything!

7) It's in our genes that we aim for the perfect 10

Here's a playlist of some of the clips shown in the documentary. Happy watching and learning about the opposite sex:)

She.. I Mean He...Wait, She...Oops, I Mean He...Excuse Me, She...Which Is Which?

Another controversy has been causing quite a stir in the world of women athletics. Apparently a medical report claimed that Caster Semenya (pic) is in fact a she-male. Confusing? You betcha! It is claimed that she (or he, whichever makes you happy) has both male and female genitalia. And I quote:

'The Sydney Morning Herald said extensive examinations of Semenya have shown she is technically a hermaphrodite. Medical reports indicate she has no ovaries, but rather has internal male testes, which are producing large amounts of testosterone.'

(30 seconds stunned in silence)...Awkward...

More can be read here

Beauty With Brains: A Joke

It's Friday, and the weekends are coming! What better way to brighten up your smile than to read a joke. It was sent by a colleague of mine (one of those forwarded emails and all) and it's brilliant! Mind you, it's 18SX in nature and you are discouraged in any circumstances read this aloud. You've been warned...So, what are you waiting for? Laugh your ass off!



Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......

(Applause!Applause!)



Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.

(Applause! Applause !)



Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.

(Applause!Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?

Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms I ran: Because they like to enter through the back door.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms India: Because it works day and night......

(Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ In Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.

(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in China are like Deng Siu Ping.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until 90.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)

Who Copied Whom: A Two Sen Pondering

You guys know about this bickering between Indonesia & Malaysia about who stole whose culture and all that? I happened to read an article written by an Indonesian in sharing his point of view. It's a good thing sometimes to hear from the other side of the wall. Happy reading!


AT FIRST I thought it was a slow news day. When a news programme was broadcasting an item titled “Indonesian culture robbed by Malaysia”, I watched it in mute mode, admiring scenes of Chinese girls eating laksa and going shopping, in another Malaysia tourism video.
The next day, the stealing claim seemed justified. The stolen culture in question was the Pendet dance from Bali, which in no way would reach Malaysia through shared Malayan culture or through Javanese and Bugis migrants.

Until today, voices condemning Malaysia are still being aired, with professors and political scientists saying Malaysia has no indigenous culture and thus has some sort of inferiority complex, and thus is stealing Indonesian culture.

Furthermore, many learned Indonesians sneer at Malaysia’s tourism slogan, “Truly Asia”, saying that it’s nonsense and proves that Malaysia has no true identity.

This newspaper, however, pointed out that “Truly Asia” means that Malaysia is a one-stop destination for tourists wishing to see Southeast Asian, Chinese and Indian cultures.

Some Indonesian condemners may still be unaware of Malaysia’s multiple-ethnicities, while others may deliberately ignore it and feel more comfortable with the view that Malaysia is a Malay nation.

As for the Pendet case, it turns out the video was made by a private production house that just copied and pasted several fun tourism images, without any intention of malice.

I found proof about the “Truly Asia” slogan on my arrival at Kuala Lumpur: The taxi got lost and I couldn’t get through to my friend’s phone ­– at sunrise on an empty suburban road. I tried to ask for directions from several strangers.

The first one were an elderly Chinese couple who didn’t speak English or Malay.

The second were a couple of Indian garbage men who spoke broken English. The Malay taxi driver preferred to talk in English as our Malay dialects were incomprehensible to each other.
Finally he got the address from a Malay youth. I found the house in time for breakfast, ready to feast on wonderful Malaysian food, such as laksa and nasi lemak, and drinks like teh tarik and susu bandung.

Many Indonesians in Malaysia must consume an unfunny old joke. In the courtyard before the Petronas Tower one night, my host said we should avoid the dark spots otherwise we could be robbed by “your countrymen”.

This newspaper had received some complaints from Malaysians that said the Indonesian media and people never talked about the violent crimes carried out by Indonesians in Malaysia.

We retaliated by pointing out that Noordin Mohammad Top is a Malaysian national, and some have even gone so far to suggest that he was planted by the Malaysian government to ruin the Indonesian tourism industry.

In fact, there is no culture war and no tourism war between Malaysia and Indonesia. Malaysia’s biggest rival in attracting tourists is Singapore, and thus Malaysia’s promos offer similar things that Singapore offers – vibrant nightlife, glorious food, Formula 1 racing and great shopping experiences.

Do our tourism promos cover those things? Malaysians count Singapore as their dreadful rival, and hardly think of Indonesia, which is on a different class.

Indonesia’s hatred for Malaysia has been around since the 1960s, probably earlier. Malaysia is the political opposite of Indonesia. It had good relations with its British coloniser, it is a federation, a parliamentary monarchy, and it is never interested in socialism.

After peace returned with the creation of the Asean bloc, both governments tried to convince the people that Indonesians and Malaysians were brothers of the same stock.

This effort held until the 21st century, when Malaysian economic progress left Indonesian behind, and more learned Indonesians are embracing Sukarno-style zero-sum nationalism.
The real story is still the same after 40 years – distract one’s woes by creating and hating a foreign enemy.

As often stressed by other writers, some cultural items that we have claimed were “robbed” by Malaysia are not exclusively Indonesian.

Batik is a common throughout Southeast Asia, and a top batik brand wrote in its coffee table book that batik had been influenced for centuries by Chinese, Indian, Arabic, European and Japanese designs.

Musical instruments like the angklung and gamelan are also common throughout South East Asia.

Wayang is hardly Indonesian – the hide puppets originated from mainland South East Asia, and there are similar storytelling arts in China, Japan and Europe. When Miss Indonesia dressed as Srikandi, she dressed as a Hindu – and Indian – character still revered religiously in India and Malaysia.

As for the disputed isles, I think it’s ridiculous if white collar men in Jakarta could get upset reading the news about Ambalat, and yet the next minute they are making backstabbing remarks about fellow Indonesians from outside Java.

Disputed territories are hardly unique – Japanese and Koreans fight over a rock and on the naming of the sea between their nation and Cambodia had an anti-Thai riot because of a temple located nearby the modern borderlines.

We claim Malaysia has an inferiority complex, and yet the problem is our own. Of course, Malaysia is guilty of ignorance and laziness in making its tourism commercials, but it’s pointless and confusing to dwell on one objectionable frame and continue to fuss about it.
We accuse Malaysia of disrespecting us because deep inside we feel that our supposed “brother” has left us behind with its decent standard of living, global brands (eg Air Asia, Maxis, Petronas and Michelle Yeoh) and good investment reputation.

Russians have had similar problems with former USSR states, and Chinese netizens have grudges with the Japanese and Americans.

In all three cases, past history is always offered for justification of hatred, as we’re closing in to 2010. But Malaysia is also having similar internal strife.

As its Chinese and Indian populations become more politically involved, harassment and foul plays also increase.

Malaysian politicians have become increasingly comical and ridiculous in acting as defenders of Muslims and Malays, and its political and religious freedoms are far below Indonesia.
Flying the Indonesian flag on your product and wallpaper, while condemning Malaysia on your Twitter and T-shirt, won’t solve anything.

Malaysia never thinks about those tourism commercials and they know that Noordin Mohammad Top is a Malaysian hiding in Indonesia because he couldn’t survive in Malaysia.
We can accept that the crime rate in Indonesia is high – so it makes sense that many Indonesians in Malaysia are involved in violent crimes.

If you want more tourists to visit Indonesia, stop sending the message that you dislike foreigners. If you want Pertamina to become a global brand like Petronas, and to have Formula One held in Indonesia, study and follow their steps. If you find an item on the Internet demeaning Indonesia, ignore it and move on with your own priorities.

Stop getting so angry about trivial things so easily when we have potential to do great things for ourselves. — Asia News Network/Jakarta Post