You Know Italiano? Si, Si, Little Bit...

I'm not sure if this is a standard issue of Lonely Planet's guidebook to Italy...but it sure is funny. Imagine, getting lucky with some Italian chick when you just have to reach the phrasebook to ensure she's having a good time, haha...

Beauty With Brains: A Joke

It's Friday, and the weekends are coming! What better way to brighten up your smile than to read a joke. It was sent by a colleague of mine (one of those forwarded emails and all) and it's brilliant! Mind you, it's 18SX in nature and you are discouraged in any circumstances read this aloud. You've been warned...So, what are you waiting for? Laugh your ass off!



Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......

(Applause!Applause!)



Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.

(Applause! Applause !)



Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.

(Applause!Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?

Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms I ran: Because they like to enter through the back door.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms India: Because it works day and night......

(Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ In Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.

(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in China are like Deng Siu Ping.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until 90.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)



Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?

Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.

Question: How can you say so?

Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.

(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)

Small ‘o’ and Big ‘O’

They said laughter is the best medicine. I may not be a good doctor, but I hope this will somewhat cure a small chunk of your sorrow moments. The joke is an excerpt from FHM (their taste for jokes is just as refined as their taste in cover girls, haha)

Two guys are in court before a judge for smoking weed.

‘You seem like nice young men,” he says, “and I’d like to give you a second chance. I want you to go out this weekend and show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs.”

The men show up in court on Monday.

“How did you do?” the judge asks the first man.

“I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs.”

“That’s incredible. What did you say?”

“I drew two circles like this, ‘O’ and ‘o’, and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”

“That’s admirable.” says the judge, before looking over at the second defendant. “And you, how did you do?”

“Well, You Honour, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”

“That’s amazing! How did you manage to do that?”

“Well, I used a similar approach. I also drew two circles like this: ‘o’ and ’O’ and pointing to the small circle, I said ‘This is your asshole before prison, and this will be your asshole after!’”

Diary Of A Blonde...

We just never got tired of blonde jokes. I'm not sure what makes blondes being made fun of, but look at Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton and you'll see why blondes deserve to be...laughed, haha...Have a good day!