Sometimes, Technology Is Just Plain Stupid...

We have seen the rise of the almighty iPhone, undoubtedly crowned one of the most awesome handheld gadgets ever to arrive in our world. I'm not an iPhone user, yet I can't seem to find any gadget worthy enough to get the magnitude of buzz received by other handheld devices other than Apple's current bread and butter. Now with the introduction of the new 3GS model, as well as the boom that is the Apple App Store, the iPhone has been most of everyone's favourite little gadget. But then, you can't help but laugh when some of the dumbass software developers (I suppose out of embarrasment, they'll no longer admit that they are!) are trying to join in the hype and produce what could be the stupidest and dumbest applications yet. Check this list out!

1. iNap@Work

Developer: SilentLogic Studios
Price: $0.99

This app promises to generate random office sounds -- mouse clicks, keyboard taps, pencil sharpeners, coughs, and rustling paper -- to give power-nappers some cover. Little sliders are supposed to control your "productivity" level and the frequency of each sound.

In our tests, however, the noises were a little too random to sound convincing. Besides, which is worse: to get caught napping, or to get caught using a lame iPhone app to pretend that you aren't?

2. Zips

Developer: Jake Landon
Price: $0.99

(Also available in a free version, Zips Lite)

"Zippers," reads the promotional copy. "Sexy, suggestive, and seductive." OK. But what's the point of a virtual zipper that you can drag up and down until the fun -- and the sexiness -- wears off?

To keep things lively the app comes with underwear you can change with a tap of the finger. The $0.99 version includes a camera icon that lets you add your own suggestive pictures.

3. Hold the Button

Developer: Me Mundo iPhone SL
Price: Free

Here's the deal: The image of a fingerprint appears on the screen, you put your finger on it and hold it there. Keep holding. And holding. Forever. Or until you remember that you have a life.

The game is supposed to be a test of patience or stamina or will power or something. When you finally give in, you can compare your score with slackers all over the world.

4. Sexy Girl Talk - Sexy Alphabet Deluxe

Developer: theM Dev
Price: $0.99

From the creators of such classic apps as Moronizer and Angry Kittens Attack comes the 26 letters of the alphabet spoken by a "professional voice model...in a sexual and sophisticated way." Sexual enough, apparently, for Apple to rate this application 12+ for "Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity."

You could have fooled us. What's it good for? The developer -- for whom English is apparently a second language -- offers several suggestions: "Listen to some Sexy Alphabet. Listen to some nice pronunciation. Fun for all the guys."

5. Taxi Hold'em

Developer: iSignz
Price: Free

Designed for tourists who fear that big-city cabbies will ignore their waves and whistles and drive on by, this app does the whistling for you. And when you tilt your iPhone horizontally, it flashes the word "TAXI" colorfully and rapidly enough to require a disclaimer. (It can trigger seizures when used near epileptics.)

One reviewer suggested that if you are going to wave it around the streets of New York, it should really be flashing "STEAL ME."

6. FatBurner2k

Developer: Daily Burn
Price: $0.99

It's a good thing Apple put this app in the "Entertainment" category. Otherwise one might be tempted to take seriously the claim that it can "help your body consume fat molecules using disharmonic, molecule to molecule, physical oscillations."

Translation: It vibrates on your tummy. It will not, however, have the same effect -- as the developer implies -- as "moving and shaking...at some expensive members-only gym where people just stand around drinking coffee trying to look hot all day."

7. Hair Clinic: For Man and Woman

Developer: Sociag Project
Price: $3.99

If you believe an iPhone can make your love handles disappear, you'll probably buy this, too: an app that promises to give you "healthy and abundant" hair by generating "various types of inaudible high and low frequencies to promote blood circulation around hair roots and under the head skin."

A helpful disclaimer adds that the Hair Clinic app is not a cure for alopecia and can, in fact, cause headaches if the iPhone's built-in speaker is held too close to the ears.

8. Cow Toss

Developer: Digital Thought Software
Price: $0.99

Another publication rated Cow Toss the 4th stupidest app ever written for the iPhone, but that doesn't do justice to all the other dumb apps.

The rules are simple: You flick the image of a cow with your finger to send it flying through space -- mooing and bouncing all the way -- and score points according to a system that is never fully explained. The developers say they hoped with the latest update to be rated "most stupid." They're not even close.

If you ask me, my vote for the the dumbest application goes to the FatBurner2K and Taxi Hold'em...I kinda like No.1 though, funny as hell (although I will never ever buy it). That being said, I actually like to see any of you out there who happened to buy this lame apps, just to see the stupidity of it in real life.

Thanks to CNNMoney.com for this hillarious article. And you know what? Go check out Krapps.com, coz these dumb apps? Tonnes of it can be seen there!

A Day In The Office

Well, obviously I have got nothing interesting to write about, so I guess I’ll share with you my day in the office.

0803 hrs – arrived at the main gate. Punch in!

0810hrs – spend a few minutes going round and round looking for a free parking spot. It’s like going into a shopping mall during weekends I tell you. The reason being is that some of the night shift staffs have yet to go home. They are still borak2 and all. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a shaded spot. If not, then I’ll have to settle parking under the hot sun.

0815hrs – punch in into process area (Here in the refinery there are non-process area (admin, finance, HRM, etc.) and there’s the process area (where all the action takes place). Only permitted vehicles are allowed so I’ll have to wait for a shuttle van to pick up passengers to their designated destinations.

0825hrs – arrived in the satellite control room (SCR) (it’s a blast proof building, huhu). The Operations and Maintenance team all resides here. The operators and technicians will hang out in the cabin just beside the SCR. I’ll be printing all the necessary documents to start the week such as the look ahead plan for planned jobs, any related HSE info, etc.

0830hrs – head to the cabin for the daily toolbox meeting. Usually the manager chairs the toolbox, if not supervisors will act as alternate chairman. Daily toolbox usually starts with discussing any HSE related issues, completed jobs, jobs for today, any on-calls during the night before (update by discipline, i.e. mechanical, electrical, instrument)

0845hrs – End of toolbox. Usually I will head to the pantry for breakfast.

0920hrs – Brrpp! Now I’m ready to work. Work starts off with reading and replying emails, updating schedule compliances, reviewing quotations of jobs to be done by contractors, settling pending payments for completed jobs as well as performance evaluation. Thanks to the invention that is Microsoft Office Communicator, computer work does not seem dull.

1100hrs – Bathroom break. Casual chat with colleagues next door.

1125hrs – Gear up to go to the plant, supervising work, checking out what the contractors are doing. Usually this is followed by performing a Behavioral Safety observation. Any safe/unsafe acts will be recorded and reported. Usually daily maintenance works are preventive, such as lubrication, visual inspection of any signs of leaks and all

1225hrs – Back to my workstation. Reading and replying emails; occasional Internet browsing. Sites like The Star Online, Paul Tan and Zero To Hundred will be opened (the ones not blocked by the system admin at least). The mood is now towards going out and having lunch.

1255hrs – Going out for lunch. Usual spots will be either ‘kedai merah’, ‘kelapa sawit’, ‘traffic light’, ‘pantai’, ‘harriettes’, ‘kedai abg jeff’ or ‘pokok mangga’ (for today, ‘kedai merah’ it is)

1410hrs – Back from lunch. Back to office, only to know that one of the air fin coolers has its belt snapped. Haiyoo…oh well, raise a work order then. No MWO, no work!

1500hrs – Weekly coordination meeting, chaired by the process manager. We’ll discuss issues such as unit status, area safety audit, maintenance updates, open & closed action items. (This just in: the furnaces at one of the units tripped..WTH?)

1600hrs – Passed some documentation to colleagues, chatting via communicator, preparing items for job to be done tomorrow.

1700hrs – Am no longer in the mood to work. Technically I’m only paid to work till 5, hahaha. Tomorrow is another day. Good job!

The Wildfire That Is H1N1

I mean seriously, H1N1 after its declaration as a pandemic by the WHO, has spread through the whole world like an uncontrollable wildfire. Many cases have been recorded in Malaysia, and you see everyday now in the news that colleges and schools were closed due to the increasing cases of swine flu infection among the students. The symptoms which are somewhat similar to the typical flu and fever makes people even more paranoid. Even I am! I am now feeling slightly unwell, with feverish feeling and I can't help but thinking 'Gosh could it be that I caught a H1Ni virus?' Seriously I hoped that I'm not. I'm too freaked out to go and see a doctor, but so far after a few doses of Paracetamol and a good night sleep (I slept for 12 hours last night! wowww), I think everything is under control (fingers crossed).

Anyway, here is some Q&A about H1N1, courtesy of article by BBC News:

Swine flu is a respiratory disease, caused by a strain of the influenza type A virus known as H1N1.

H1N1 is the same strain which causes seasonal outbreaks of flu in humans on a regular basis.

But this latest version of H1N1 is different: it contains genetic material that is typically found in strains of the virus that affect humans, birds and swine.

Although the strain may have originated in pigs, it is now a wholly human disease.

It can be spread from person to person by coughing and sneezing.

Symptoms of swine flu in humans appear to be similar to those produced by standard, seasonal flu.

A fever - which is a temperature of 38ºC (100.4ºF) - is the key symptom, combined with other complaints which may include a cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and aching limbs. Some people with the virus have also reported nausea and diarrhoea.

As with normal flu, the severity of symptoms will depend on treatment and the individual. Many people have only suffered mildly and have begun to recover within a week.

People are most infectious soon after they develop symptoms, but they cease to be a risk once those symptoms have disappeared. The incubation period may be as little as two days.

We haven't seen a pandemic of this magnitude since 1968 (according to the records, how should I know, I wasn't even born yet). Apparently the the most devastating outbreaks in human history was the Spanish Flu in 1918. 40% of the world were infected and more than 50million died! That is just some scary shit. But then, according to a statement by WHO, the H1N1; now affecting over 160 countries is still in it s early stage and could continue to spread now, perhaps could infect up to 2 billion people in the next two years! I suggest all of us to limit our outdoor activities, because reading all this is just frightening to the core.

Here's a website which I think is very useful to instill awareness and knowledge about the swine flu. Take good care of yourself...

The Eclipse

Here are two pictures of the recent eclipse happened yesterday at about 6-ish am (India time). I actually forgot about this eclipse till I read the news. Looking through the window at about 7am yersterday (was in Renaissance KL for a 2-day course), I actually thought it was gloomy coz it's raining. Simply amazing. I wonder if now then somebody in this world will have super powers a-la Heroes? More about it can be read here and here

My Sister's Keeper

I have finally finished reading this book! Yeayyy. I came across this title as I was browsing through the upcoming summer flicks. Watching the trailer, and finding out that it was an adaptation from a novel of a best selling author, it managed to keep me interested. Anyway, thanks to MPH I came across the novel and I bought it. Rest assured, I had a blast reading it from the start to the very last page. Let me share with you some dirt of what it is all about.

Basically we have Kate, who has suffered from a rare form of leukemia at an early age, struggling to keep herself alive. Then comes Anna, her younger sibling who was somewhat genetically engineered to help her sister fight the disease. Being family, an at such a young age, does not have much of a say of to the extend of her helping her sister, undergoing countless transfusions and surgeries. That is until one day, she decides to file for a medical emancipation for a legal right to her body; for her to be able to decide on her own of what she wants to do with her body. A decision that for most would be unthinkable, that will tear her family apart, and perhaps fatal consequences for the sister she loves. Author Jodi Picoult has put a microscope examining this controversial topic, finding out what it means to be a good parent, a good sister and a good person; putting a fine line between legal and moral compass in doing absolutely anything to save a child's life.

I must say, I'm not sure how to begin with commenting about this book. Yes, it is a heavy subject, but at the same time, this book managed my attention and interest to read it through. It's packed with human emotions, human values, not to mention medical jargons. I also liked the way the story is presented, i.e. switches from the eyes from various characters including the parents, and the lawyers. It makes you see the things playing around each character's minds. Reading this (although it's fictional) can't help me but wonder what would have happened if I were in Anna's shoes. I can't say that I'm surprised with the ending (let's just say I kinda saw it coming along the way reading it), but then it's just woww. I spent about 10 minutes just reflecting on what had happened after finding out the ending. The pages during the trial scene was just suspenseful. I literally had to switched off the TV just to focus. Luckily hacing a great view from my hotel room helps me to get the to the bottom of the story with peace, huhu.

Bottom line, it's been a while since I last read fiction, but this is just awesome! Worth the money paid, worth reading, worth recommending it to someone else. I so so enjoyed the storyline and the characters. I can imagine Abigail Breslin being Anna in the movie. It will take a while till the movie arrives here in Malaysia, so just go and get this book! How I wished that back in my college years we were asked to analyze the idea of this book. Perhaps the Theory of Knowledge classes will not be so dull then...All in all, this book is indeed a keeper:)

Seen And Heard: The Merchants Of Bollywood

Usually for Seen And Heard posts, it's always about videos, songs or movies. Well, guess what? This time it's neither about all those. It's time performance arts are brought into picture; in this post namely The Merchants Of Bollywood (MOB). I had a chance to check it out together with my mum and my sister (my mum is such a huge fanatic fan of anything Bollywood), at Istana Budaya on Sunday evening. I was there with an open heart and open mind (I'm not a big fan of the movies, but I don't mind the actress, hehe), but according to some sources the play received some positive reviews. We arrived in IB 20 minutes till the play starts and we could see how this show attracted many. The crowd was so stylo mylo, all dressed up to the nines. And more, the audiences came from all parts of race; we have Malays, Chinese, Indians (d'uh), even the foreigners are feeling the heat too. And Sunday's performance are special with the presence of the Deputy Prime Minister.

MOB is basically about Ayesha, a young aspiring dance choreographer trying to find her hopes and dreams in Bollywood. Her father turned out to be a sensational choreographer back in his days. But then, her father disapproves of Ayesha's intentions due to the ugly side of modern Bollywood and instead asked her to retain her traditional roots. Working now in the modern world of Bollywood cinema, Ayesha now begins to question Bollywood's way forward in story telling as more and more foreign films are followed and adapted, as well as the music that creeps in. There are flashbacks to highlight Bollywood at its peak back in the 70's and its transitioning time to the very recent.

That's about it for the teaser synopsis. Now let me share with you about its performance. Well, first of all, mind you (again!) tat I'm not a huge Bollywood fan, so I can't really appreciate those songs they're singing and being crazy about. But I can tell you this. The show is magnificient! It's vibrant (the costumes are such an eye candy, not to mention the hero will be definitely be drooled by the ladies), dynamic (those jaw dropping, insane dance moves) and filled with heart and passion. Watching the play makes you appreciate what they have been through and what they have become now. It's definitely a pleasant journey into the realm of Bollywood with the lip-syncing, warmth in family values, just what you would expect from watching a Bollywood movie. And that is why I think my mum loves it. It's like watching a live Bollywood movie (minus the stars of course). And the music! man oh man do the crowd enjoyed it! Even the DPM showed that he is also a good sport, reacting to the beats and tunes.

So that's it! Amazing, wonderful, a great experience of the performing arts. MOB delivered it with such a class, we left IB feeling happy and delightful...Signing off, ciao!

Turnaround...

Today at work is all about turnaround. I joined two seperate meetings in the morning and in the afternoon discussing about it. Basically a turnaround is an event,whereby refineries/processing plants are taken off stream from operating & production (basically shutting down in layman terms). Turnaround (or TA as we called it) is the time major maintenance works were done,thorough inspection conducted to ensure the integrity of the structures,as well as modification or revampibg works will be conducted. This will be my first TA experience,and you know what,from what I saw it's gonna be a huge deal.

The morning meeting is all about safety. We're discussing the JSA (Job Safety Analysis) of the major jobs to be done during TA. This is where we detail out every single safety aspects in the job. We're talking equipment inspection,hazard awareness,manpower competencies,basically the whole lot. Safety during TA is especially a huge deal,because time is of the essence,and we can't afford to lose precious time for not doing things safely. In O&G, time is money,literally.

Then in the afternoon,we had a discussion as to the works to be done during TA. Here the planner will outline the detailed plan of what's to happen from shutdown to startup. Every single item is detailed out,like the minimum time to drain out the whole system to go hydrocarbon free,what jobs start first,even to extend of crane mobilization. We are given such a tight window,as let's face it; the longer you're down, the more losses you'll incur.

So that's about it. Expect long workhours,sleepless nights and deprived state of mind...