Let There Be Light

As I’m listening to a few songs I just downloaded (for quite a few times now), as I am repeating the words over and over again my head, my heart is just intrigued to express something, that I thought I should just write it down...loosely said, it pretty much sums up my thoughts that I need to clear up in the air.

As my brain activity is sorting out my thoughts properly to connect what I’m trying to say, let me just state the obvious first and foremost. These songs share one thing in common; the crazy little thing called love and relationship. As I was in what you called a ‘zaman gelap’, and I’m still currently sorting out my life (relationship wise), I’m still figuring out what’s in stored for me in the future. I’m not trying to be specific of what I’m feeling nor I’m trying to be vague, so here it goes (feel free to not read this, I don’t care).

One song sung by a brilliant band is portraying the message ‘I want you, could it not be any more obvious’ basically. Come what may; silly or erratic arguments, difference in opinion and what not. In the end, when you have that loving feeling to someone, it will not simply fade away, time after time. People may have said that they are moving forward (pinjam tagline Toyota kejap) but when thoughts of that special person came and go like a warm breeze, he or she will be an absolute terrible liar to even consider it as moving forward . I for one will definitely be devastated knowing that the special person I care about are with someone else. Words may not have my strong forte, but I think my actions spoke clearly of my intentions; always have, always will.

Then there are this two new songs, one sung by a WAG, and another, a duet from two reality show contestants. Both talk about the hardships in a relationship, on how love isn’t an everyday picnic or a walk in the park. That it may not go as what we’ve planned, that it may not be rainbows and butterflies. That it will take patience, compromise and trust (not to mention a lot of learning!) to make it work. Sometimes we take things for granted and ended up regretting it when it’s gone. I’m not saying it’s ok to take for granted (just to be clear), but it’s in our genes to sometimes forget what matters. Mistakes are just means of saying that we are indeed human. Everyone isn’t perfect, but together we can achieve a balance stronger than anything. If something’s worth having, it is definitely worth fighting for.

Lastly is a song recommended for download by a family member. I was not excited about the music, but then when I listened to the words carefully, I thought ‘man she’s right’. Love doesn’t come cheap. You have to earn love. You got to go what you got to do. Let her know that you’re really serious about...you know, getting serious with her. I was especially shocked when I heard one of the verses in the song ‘What you gonna do if someone convinces me, to believe that he can do it better’, and I asked myself that very same question. I’ve got no answer to put it in words, but my heart saddens to even have a thought about that...I sincerely hope that I will never have to find out the answer to that question...

Whatever happens happened, which I think has a reason. It has been written. I may have done mistakes which I’m not proud of. I may have done things which I shouldn’t. I may be wrong, I may be right for my actions. This might also be a wake up call for me, to get things straightened out before it’s too late...In the end, I only hope and pray for one thing. Whatever it is that I’m embarking on, whatever signals being transmitted and vice versa, please...let there be light on the other side of the tunnel. I’m not putting my hopes up just yet, but yeah...let there be light...it’s just not cool anymore to be in the dark...

I hope I’m being vague enough. I may have used the wrong words and phrases, and my sentences may jumble up and sounded silly or wrong, and I apologize should this post came out offensive...oh btw, the songs I listened too were ‘Just Say Yes’, ‘Fight For This Love’, ‘The Art Of Love’, and ‘Put It In A Love Song’ (great songs btw, not to be listened during unstable mental state or an emotional meltdown). Till the next post, mm-kayy..

A New Year Has Come. Heads Up For The Best!

As you can probably tell from the header, today marks my birthday; the day my biological self being brought up to the face of Earth. A lot has happened these past few years; some greatful moments like me graduating, getting a decent job, falling in love...of course there were some verry bitter moments that i wished it didn't happen: the break up. People also say that what did not break you will make you stronger, and yes I'm trying my very best to digest the very meaning of those words.

Am I happy now? Deep inside of course I would say I've had better days. But then that's just life. Sometimes your wheel is at the pinnacle and you have everything and for damn sure you'll hit rock bottom at some point. All I can say now is that I'll be alright. I've got the right people around me to get me through this. I'm trying to be more mature, more adult in handling all of these life lessons. All I can do now is keep my head up.

So, what am I looking forward to? I haven't actually give much of a thought to that question, although I might already know the answer to that. I think I'm now looking forward to settling down. You know, find a decent companionship and commit to it to the rest of my life. I am now starting to think of weddings, starting a family, children (you can't help but to think about all these stuff, especially when you received tonnes of wedding invitations by your mates). In fact, I'm among a few who has yet to get married (most of my friends have got married, or engaged at least). So yeah, perhaps I wasn't thinking of all of this 2 or 3 years ago. What do you expect, studying and thinking of marrying someone? Honest to God, I never thought about dating someone just yet. Deep inside, I still have loving feelings for her. If there is ever a slightest chance of me getting back together with her, I really really wanted to have that hope still.

Well, that's that. I would say that is the biggest thing that I'm looking forward to. Of course there are the supporting ones like getting a better pay, improving my self image (hopefully it will be a good start to improve my manly physique). I have started doing something to release my negative energy like blogging and jogging and I am enjoying it very much.

So, a toast to my birthday (and also those who happened to celebrate their birthdays today), wishing a wonderful year, a success in everything you do, and hopes and dreams coming true. Make a wish...

Jogging Is...Love?

Good morning all. This is rather an early post; I just got back from my morning jog at the Kiara Park. This is the 4th time I spent time towards my journey of a healthier lifestyle (more to come, you can count on that!)

I've decided to post this based on what I have observed from my jogging hour spent. Malaysia is indeed a great place to live in. If I have to put it in a phrase, I would say 'there's a lot of love among Malaysians'. There are scenes that just...fascinates me. Apart from the obvious (jogging for the sake of loving your mind, body and soul, d'uhh), there is this other side of love. You can see love of peace and harmony (you can see a bunch of mature folks doing aerobics and taichi together, not just the Chinese!). Then you'll see families, friends, even neighbours jogging (or walking..hey, whatever works for you) together and bond with each other. I even saw one auntie being pushed on a wheelchair by her caretaker. I saw young kids and toddlers of age 3-4 years walking and playing around happily..Then, there are nature lovers who have their DSLRs on their side...Sometimes you don't even realise it, but these little things on the end will make you smile and made the rest of your day...

Ok, I'm done. Breakfast awaits! Jaane!